Although my NDE (Near Death Experience) took place more than 30 years ago, this is the first time that I am writing about the experience that literally came out of nowhere in my mid-teens.
Until Dr. Eben Alexander recounted his own NDE in the book, “Proof of Heaven”, I had always thought that mine did not quite match the typical recounting of light at the end of a tunnel and the meeting of family members who had passed. So let me begin by setting the stage for a most extraordinary event that occurred during a most ordinary morning.
It was about five AM and I was sitting at the kitchen table cramming for a final exam for school. Yes, I had, as usual, waited until the last minute, unlike my younger sister who studied weeks in advance. Anyways, I realized that I could not keep my eyes open, so I made a bowl of hot chocolate. Of course, the milk had the opposite effect on my system and I soon fell asleep while holding the bowl in both hands. The next thing I knew, the bowl had crashed against the edge of the table and a piece of the pottery had sliced the palm of my left hand.
I was still groggy when I realized that my hand was bleeding quite profusely. I made my way to the bathroom where I did the most illogical thing possible. I placed my wound under running water. If I had been more awake, I would have realized that this would simply facilitate the blood flow which led to the next event, I fainted. Up to this point in my young life of fifteen or so years, I had fainted on occasion due to high fever and loss of blood, but I would simply black out and then come to a minute later.
This time, I was unaware that my tongue was blocking my airway and effectively interfering with the intake of oxygen. In other words, I stopped breathing. My journey began as the usual black out, but then something amazing happened, I found myself riding a beautiful white horse in a field of golden light. Everything around me, the colors of the flowers, the smells and the feel of the warm breeze were amplified in a way that cannot be described in words. I felt incredible joy at being there and then I sensed a presence. Suddenly, I felt wrapped in complete and absolute unconditional love and for the first time in this life, I was at peace. It was magnificent… but then, I felt myself being pulled backwards into the darkness again and I could hear someone screaming. I came to with the surprising realization that I was the one screaming. My sister had just saved my life by unblocking my airway.
Needless to say, I never made it to my class and the exam that day. While the members of my family went to work or to school, I stayed in bed, trying to make sense of what had just happened to me, except I couldn’t. I had no points of reference to work with. My family had no ancient teachings, religious texts or past experience with which to piece this event into my life puzzle. All I knew, through every cell of my being, was that I had experienced perfect heavenly joy one minute and then crashed back into this body and the heaviness of being human. I could not handle the contrast. I had difficulty returning to my normal routine and ended up spending more than two weeks in bed thinking suicidal thoughts. Ironically, apart from my undisciplined study habits, I was a good student and my teachers did not question my absence thinking that I was probably visiting family in Europe. Only my mother was aware that I was not attending class and she was at a complete loss as to what to do about it. Somehow, I now think that I was guided through this difficult experience, at least enough to allow me to function again.
It would be years, until my early thirties, before I would experience more events of this nature. Until then, during the few occasions I shared my story verbally with an open individual, I was told that I had brought some of that light back with me. In other words, something had shifted within me that day and more would be revealed in the future.
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